Guru Gyrations

I have a relative who is a follower of a Concept of Living, as instructed by a Guruji or a Pundit.

She teaches his teachings. She teaches mainly Yoga and Meditation, both profound practices to feel and explore the Soul.

She is old and a widow. She has been through her share of shit, and she has pulled off life well. Her daughters are well settled and prosperous.

She would talk about kriyas and asanas, and how they can transform the way you live your life, bla bla bla.

The Guruji may be right. He could be leading the otherwise blind people towards a harmony.

But our stupid people are T#$%^*&YUIY*&^(*&)(*)(*.

My relatives elder daughter is pregnant. All relatives were invited for a function, a high tea and a great evening at their place.

It turned out that the grandmother had made elaborate spiritual arrangements for the day of the delivery.

a. There was a white cloth in which the baby will be draped first thing after being born. It was the same piece of cloth that was spread over the chair the Guruji sat on. This will seemingly increase immunity, and cover the baby with the Guruji’s graces.
b. There was a silver spoon, which will feed the first mouthful of milk the baby would take. This was the same spoon the Guruji used to have some kheer during one of his tours. This will give the baby some sort of good stomach. I didn’t catch the exact context.

My head started reeling in the disgust at the unhealthy things my mind started thinking at that moment.

The Guru must be a bad man I thought at first, to exploit such people. I even told my wife that the lady must have brought the Guru’s langot and make her son in law wear it to be able to make his wife pregnant. My wife was naturally mad at me. But I didn’t see any difference in my thinking and the lady’s, other than the fact that I was deliberately trying to berate the Guru for exploiting his people.

When I went into things further, I understood that the Guru was not a Swami or a monk. He was just a teacher, who was trying to teach people.( I still don’t understand why a teacher must wear a Buddha and sport a long, flowing beard) In the process he has amassed much wealth on behalf of his trusts and temples, and charities and things like that. He was just running a plain business line. That of serving up one’s soul on a platter. He would tell you how to feel your conscience, how to be good, and how to be true, how to love. He would teach all the tenets of humanity as if it were new. He would add a few things here and there, and then try to make it sound unique and interesting. There would be bhajans and trance sessions, and people are just mesmerized not at what his teachings have evoked, but by the man himself.

He just is plain more intelligent than many of you. You think his eyes radiate a power. You have gone there to liberate a heavy soul. How could you look at the eyes of a man who you think is liberated? You, with your low self esteem have already lost the power to look at such a person in the eye. The Guru is confident because he knows no one would dare to look him in the eye. In the end it is all about the domination and subjugation. People nowadays don’t just need religion to be spiritual, they need to be taught.

The Guruji is exploiting his talents alone and nothing else. He never asks for anything more than attention.

His followers exploit him and other people.

They make classes out of their learnings of his teachings, they form new orders and ashrams. They make money out of his brand aura and create superstitions like carrying away his robes and cutlery. This sets a precedent and I am sure I would see the langot of the Guru on ebay or Christy’s, London for millions of dollars 20 years from now.

In the end, it is the disciple who is outsmarting the Guru. The disciples who went to liberate their soul, end up soiling their soul further. The Guru doesn’t bother either. It is just adding up to more brand awareness.

The Guru is running a perfect business, a public limited company.

a. The promoter drives home in a Merc bought by the company – the Guru does the same thing
b. The promoter invests the returns he gets in the business, and takes home only an allowance, thus he is not taxed – the ashrams buy land, start schools and money spinning operations
c. The promoter is not liable in case of business failure. The ashram can similarly shut shop and need not answer any one, even the Government.
d. A smart promoter would develop his executives to lead his business and be relieved – Gurus have always done the same thing. Hasn’t every religious order faced succession politics, malice and crime, just like our corporate successions?

We all think the Guru is doing charity, by teaching idiots like us. He is just running a school for adults on the subject of living.